Meat based poerty

To the tune of John Lennon's Imagine:: Imagine there's no Shwarma,; It's easy if you try,; No salad or chips,; The pita very dry,; Imagine all the people; without no meat to eat...; Imagine there's no Solly's,; It isn't hard to do,; Nothing to queue or pay for,; No shwarma too,; Imagine all the people; eating alone at home...; You can't say I am gay,; No houmous or salad for me; Chips are all we are allowed; and the Vimto is free.....; Imagine no lads night; I wonder if you can,; No need for articulate; Just a load of meat, and Man...; Imagine all the people; Shwarmaring around the world; You can't say I'm a Veggie,; Cos I eat meat like everyone,; I hope some day Vic will join us,; And Lads night will live as one...(BI)

Top

To the tune of Friends "I'll be there for you...": So Barry told me it was gonna be this way,; You'll have no salad he said, or you will be gay.; And Solly said there will days like this,; I have got 8 staff in, they're just here to take the piss and...; I'll be there for you; When it's going round and round; I'll be there for you; Carve me off a quarter pound; I'll be there for you; I like this meat a lot; And I'll be there for you; When I eat it will it be hot?; Some humous on my chips and salad in my bread,; I get accused of being right out of my head.; But man can not live on meat alone,; For the sins of salad and extra topping I duly atone and...; I'll be there for you; When it's ready to go; I'll be there for you; Has Rob made the Vimto?; I'll be there for you; My fillings dont make me queer; I'll be there for you; Better top me up with beer.; No one can ever know how; No one can ever feel how; It's like to eat lamb, chicken, mixed; Something to wash it down with; Chips, Vimto and a Sandwich; Oooh I think I might be sick, So....; I'll be there for you; When you turn up two hours late; I'll be there for you; For a game of Articulate; I'll be there for you; When we're going down the pub; I'll be there for you; With a belly full of grub; And I'll be there for you; Cos Shwarma's good for you tooooooooooo!(SK)

Top

To the tune of Oasis - Don't look back in anger.: Slip inside some meat with no veg; Then wrap it in bread; And take it all away.; To eat two is no easy feat; With all of that meat; This Shwarma's here to stay; It starts a revolution in your tum; That knocks on through 'til it reaches to your bum; Whether hot or cold we walk on down the road; Chips no salad is our Shwarma code; Sit down in front of teletext; See the score that comes up next; You should really take the Shwarma Challenge........; Chorus...; So Solly can wait; He knows it's too late; When we're walking on by; His trade slides away; But don't cook crappy Shwarma I heard him say; He says to come in for a feast; When he's bought the chemist; That'll be the day; The queueing wil be no more; In his meat superstore; But will we have to pay?; It'll start a revolution in your bread; We can eat it when it's hot instead; No more waiting in that little room; We can stand in space and sing this little tune; Sit down beside his fireplace; Stick that Shwarma in your face; We just want to eat until we throw up...; Chorus...; So Solly is great; We'll put on some weight; And then eat some pie; He's the saviour of meat; So don't look back in hunger; No don't look back in hunger; I heard him say.....(SK)

Top

To the tune of The Sound of Silence by Simon and Garfunkel: Hello Solly, my old friend,; I've come to buy from you again,; Because I'm hungry and I need feeding,; And my stomach is so needing; And the vision that was planted in my brain; Still remains; With the smell of Shwarma.; In restless dreams I walked unseen,; Narrow streets of Golders Green.; 'Neath the halo of a street lamp,; I turned my collar to the cold and damp; When my nose was stabbed by the smell of a little shop; With a sign on top.; That said "Welcome to Solly's"; And in the naked light I saw; Ten thousand people, maybe more.; People queueing without being served,; People getting agro they don't deserve,; People waiting for shwarmas that never come; And only some; Can get the smell of Shwarma.; "Fools" said I, "You do not know; Shwarma tastes so good I know.; Have it now with a vimto; Then to the pub we shall go; But salad is not allowed no way,; You might be gay; In the pita, with Shwarma"; And the people bowed and prayed; To the shwarma Solly made.; With the chicken and the lamb meat; In the pita stacked oh so neat.; And the man said, "The shwarma and the chips; are only five pounds; but can it be found ."; Or you'll get no Shwarma.(BI)

Based on Act 5 of Hamlet: Alas, poor Solly! I knew him well:; a fellow of infinite toppings, of most excellent meat:; he hath loaded my bread a thousand times;; and now, how fat my ample belly is!; my gut overflows at it.; Here hung the meat that I have eaten I know not how oft.; Where be your salad now?; your humous? your chips? your flashes of merriment,; that were wont to set the Vimto to flow?; Not one now, to mock your own eating? quite gut-laden?; Now get you to Michael’s chamber, and tell him,; let him pour up to the pint line, to this flavour he must drink;; make him laugh at that. Eat, Solly, carve me one more Shwarma.(SK for WS)